omfg so I came back from camp today and I guess this fell out of my bag while I was unpacking
aND MY DAD STARTS SCREAMING ABOUT THIS CONDOM HE FOUND IN MY ROOM AND I GOT SO SCARED OMFG AND I WAS LIKE WAIT LEMME SEE THAT AND I TURNED IT OVER
AND IT’S MY FUCKING TEA
MY DAD THOUGHT MY CINNAMON APPLE TEA WAS A CONDOM
I just heard a girl outside yell “PARKOUR” really loudly immediately followed by a dull thud on the ground and a softer “ugh” and I’m laughing really hard
do you live in Toronto because this might have been me about 2 hours ago jumping down from a fence dressed as Bro Strider
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.